Applesauce on Nipples?

Chicago 2

Gotta love city living.  Houses close together, merely a few feet apart.  Which means that when our windows are open, we can hear everything going on in our neighbor’s back yard.  They’re having a party tonight, and one guest stepped outside onto the neighbor’s back deck to make a phone call.  Long story short, he was drunk and speaking loudly, and my husband and I heard every word.  Including this exchange:

“Dude, I saw your girl at Mullen’s.  She must’ve been rubbing applesauce on her nipples all night, they were so perky.  No, I’m serious, it was ridiculous.”

Rubbing applesauce on her nipples?  Can’t believe I’ve been missing that trick all these years.  Seriously, has anyone heard this expression before?  Any clue why it would be applesauce instead of, say, ice cubes?


All I know is, I have got to use this in one of my books.

And on another note, for all of you here in the U.S., have a wonderful Independence Day!

13 thoughts on “Applesauce on Nipples?

  1. tennismom mary g says:

    Hey Julie
    You’ll want your writing to be accurate so you’ll need to choose the right variety of apples.
    Highland Romance – McIntosh apples
    May-December – Granny Smith
    BDSM – Russet – they are kind of rough skinned
    Chefs – Delicious
    Royalty – Royal Gala
    FBI/CIA – Northern Spy

    I’m trying to think of a storyline for the Pink Lady variety but it’s 2 AM and I haven’t had a drink.

  2. Marie Force says:

    You enticed me to come by with your subject line on Facebook. Now that is a new one to me, too! And I’ll expect to see that in a future JJ book. LOL! Do you have the T-shirt that says Be Careful What You Say Around Me or You’ll End Up in My Novel?

    Everything is fodder for a book, even err, applesauce and nipples!

    Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

  3. Julie says:

    katiebabs: Yes… and it would be kind of a messy process…

    Rowena: You, too! And if you see it in one of my books, you can say you heard it here first.

    Mary: you seriously crack me up! So what is the appropriate apple varietal for a contemporary?

    CJ: Ah, the puckering effect. Of course. Perhaps there was actually some reasoning behind this. But yes, guys do sometimes think of the strangest things, so it could just be that, too!

    Marie: I love it– funny t-shirt!! I’m waiting for the day that my friends stop talking around me, because certain characters/situations have this strange tendency to make it into my books… Although I think they actually kind of like it. 😉

  4. tennismom mary g says:

    Good one Julie!
    I guess I have to be drunk to think up that one. Being tired wasn’t enough.

    Hey Marie Force
    I’m in the middle of Love At First Flight & totally loving it. I’m reading it during the commercials while watching Wimbledon (we are huge fans & play tennis too) & my guys are bugging me but its so good just like Line Of Scrimmage. Guys don’t get books.

  5. tennismom mary g says:

    I just realized that I made THE Julie James laugh. A hundred more times & we might be even!!! Thanks – you made my day.

  6. Lea says:

    LOL ::rolls eyes::

    Hey whatever turns the crank right?

    I will never think or look at applesause in the same way again! lol

    I hope you had a wonderful July 4th Julie!


  7. Emmanuelle says:

    people are so weird !! It’s almost frightening…lol
    I love the picture and I LOVE Chicago, grrr I miss this town !!

  8. Julie says:

    Lea– thanks! It was a nice weekend. Just capped it off today with a family BBQ. Weather was gorgeous. Oh, and sorry if I ruined applesauce for you… 😉

    Emmanuelle: I know, I see pictures like that and it makes me appreciate what I take for granted every day with this city.

  9. KatiDancy says:

    OK, I snorted Diet Dr. Pepper up my nose. Hilarious!

    I’ve never heard of rubbing applesauce on nipples before. But hey, there’s a first time for everything.

    I wonder if it’s a line from a movie or something?! Huh. Or maybe porn.

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